Chelsea Handler calls her ex-boyfriend/current boss a giant toddler

I know I was talking about my general dislike of Chelsea Handler the other day, but I have to backtrack a little, just because she didnt come across as unpleasant as she usually does in this new interview in Harpers Bazaar. Chelsea was interviewed to promote her book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, and they made

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I know I was talking about my general dislike of Chelsea Handler the other day, but I have to backtrack a little, just because she didn’t come across as unpleasant as she usually does in this new interview in Harper’s Bazaar. Chelsea was interviewed to promote her book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, and they made her pose with Abigail Breslin for the photo shoot. Chelsea is supposed to be Abigail’s put-upon “Handler” in the photo spread. It’s kind of funny. I really like Breslin, and apparently she and Chelsea got along well, so I’ll give Chelsea some credit for not drunkenly mocking a little girl. Well done! My God, the bar is low. Anyhoodle, here are some excerpts from the Bazaar piece (full article here):

Chelsea doesn‘t like an entourage: “Sometimes the publicists are worse than the star,” observes Handler, who has certainly dealt with her fair share of the type. “They really are delusional. That’s why when I hired a publicist, I was like, I never want the type who is going to be such a pain in the ass and treats people terribly.”

More on how publicists suck: “A lot of publicists trade their clients,” Handler continues. “They’ll say you can have this person only if you’ll have this person who’s not as successful or famous,” just like baseball cards, but plus Zac Efron and minus Alex Rodriguez. “If your client knew what you were doing, then they wouldn’t be having you represent them.”

On the personal stories in her book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang: “I don’t get to talk about my personal life enough on the show,” she says. “[The book] is about the embarrassing situations I find myself in.”

On her ex-boyfriend (and current boss at E!, Ted Harbert the current president and CEO of Comcast Entertainment Group): “[Ted] has read the book and signed off on everything, so he should be fine with it,” says Handler, though she does compare him to a “large toddler” in its pages.

On her dad: She details his affairs with his cleaning ladies and his defunct personal hygiene and suggests, not entirely joking, that he should be committed. “[My father] likes to have any attention, whether it’s negative or positive. He is pretty much under the correct impression that he has no say in anything I do and that my childhood was humiliating enough. So it’s payback time,” says Handler. “If he tried to sue me, he’d have to borrow money from me to sue me.”

On Demi Moore: “It’s always nice when you see somebody who’s bigger than life and you meet them in person,” says Handler of Demi Moore (this month’s Bazaar cover star and a recent first-time guest). “You’re like, I wonder what they’ll be like, [and then] they’re totally normal and cool. That’s great.”

On her party-girl image: “I don’t really go out and about at all those nightclubs. I got that out of my system in my 20s,” says Handler, who prefers to hang out at her friends’ houses and “just chill.” “I’m not that into getting my photograph taken. I think people see enough of me if they want to [on TV] every night.” Anyway, she quips, “I can’t afford to get a DUI with the people I make fun of on this show.”

On her work life: “I decided to become a comedian when someone told me you only work on weekends. Turns out they were way off base,” says Handler, laughing. “I work more than anyone in my family, but luckily I now also take better vacations than anyone in my family.”

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

Whatever she’s doing, it’s working. Or whatever. I meant that as in, her book is selling really well and she’s got a contract with E! until 2012. After which she’ll probably regret calling her boss a “giant toddler”. So that probably isn’t working so well, long-term. And whatever the girl is doing with her skin and diet and whatever is not working either, because I’m still not buying that she’s 35 years old. Oh, well.

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Photos courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar.

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